Two and a Half Men

▶S1 E1 PilotSep 22, 2003 · 23 minCarefree jingle writer Charlie Harper has his lifestyle altered when his uptight brother and his 10-year-old nephew move in with him.Episode details → ▶S1 E2 Big Flappy BastardsSep 29, 2003 · 21 minDespite warnings from Charlie, Jake continues to feed seagulls on the deck and the birds invade the house. Meanwhile, Charlie thinks Judith is taking…Episode details → ▶S1 E3 Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of HellOct 6, 2003 · 21 minJake wants to go home to his mom after he gets sick, prompting Alan to think he's a failure as a husband and now…Episode details → ▶S1 E4 If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a NapOct 13, 2003 · 21 minCharlie can't function when his housekeeper storms off because of Alan's constant complaints, so Alan tries desperately to woo her back. Meanwhile, Rose comes…Episode details → ▶S1 E5 The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up With a HumpOct 20, 2003 · 19 minAlan and Charlie have encounters with some highly libidinous soccer moms, but with two very different outcomes.Episode details → ▶S1 E6 Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?Oct 27, 2003 · 21 minThe guys go to Evelyn's house to meet the new man she's dating, and Charlie realizes the man's daughter is a woman he's trying…Episode details → ▶S1 E7 If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually FakeNov 3, 2003 · 21 minJudith is upset with Alan and Charlie when she learns that a surfer who uses Charlie's shower walks around half naked in front of…Episode details → ▶S1 E8 Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-FulNov 10, 2003 · 19 minAlan tricks Charlie into joining him and Judith in leading Jake and his classmates in the school's annual music show.Episode details → ▶S1 E9 Phase One, CompleteNov 17, 2003 · 21 minCharlie is convinced that a woman who spent the night with him wants to turn their relationship into something serious after she befriends Jake…Episode details → ▶S1 E10 Merry ThanksgivingNov 24, 2003 · 21 minRealizing he's losing someone special, Charlie plans a Thanksgiving dinner to convince her he's a family guy and that she should be with him.Episode details → ▶S1 E11 Alan Harper, Frontier ChiropractorDec 15, 2003 · 20 minWhen Alan is surprised to see that Judith has had a makeover and is dating a man, he decides to have Charlie help him…Episode details → ▶S1 E12 Camel Filters and PheromonesJan 5, 2004 · 21 minBerta's granddaughter spends the day at Charlie's, which isn't a problem until he learns she's a beautiful, rebellious 16-year-old.Episode details → ▶S1 E13 Sarah Like Puny AlanJan 12, 2004 · 20 minCharlie nurses an ailing Alan back to health so they can go on a double date with two sisters, one of whom Charlie's been…Episode details → ▶S1 E14 I Can't Afford HyenasFeb 2, 2004 · 21 minCharlie's financial manager informs the carefree jingle writer that he spends money faster than his royalty checks come in, and now he must go…Episode details → ▶S1 E15 Round One to the Hot Crazy ChickFeb 9, 2004 · 21 minCharlie invites a mysterious, slightly crazed woman to stay at the house until she can settle some family problems.Episode details → ▶S1 E16 That Was Saliva, AlanFeb 16, 2004 · 21 minCharlie is perplexed when Frankie, the mysterious woman temporarily living in the Harper household, begins falling for Alan and not him.Episode details → ▶S1 E17 Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the HatsFeb 23, 2004 · 20 minCharlie's still brooding over Alan's choice of their cousin as Jake's guardian if both parents die when the boy has an accident while in…Episode details → ▶S1 E18 An Old Flame With a New WickMar 1, 2004 · 21 minCharlie is stunned to learn his ex-girlfriend is now a man.Episode details → ▶S1 E19 I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember YouMar 22, 2004 · 19 minJudith's devious siren sister stirs things up at Jake's 11th birthday party when she hits on Alan. Meanwhile, Evelyn brings alcohol and has a…Episode details → ▶S1 E20 Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the DarkApr 19, 2004 · 21 minJake's sullen mood baffles and bothers the family and prompts Alan and Judith to take him to a child psychologist.Episode details → ▶S1 E21 No Sniffing, No WowingMay 3, 2004 · 21 minCharlie plays a tricky game when he gets involved with Alan's divorce lawyer, who could make things difficult for Alan if she were, say,…Episode details → ▶S1 E22 My Doctor Has a Cow PuppetMay 10, 2004 · 21 minWhen Charlie discovers that Alan is sleepwalking, he believes it's related to his brother's lack of sex following his divorce, and comes up with…Episode details → ▶S1 E23 Just Like BuffaloMay 17, 2004 · 21 minWhen Jake repeats one of Charlie's sexist remarks in front of Judith's support group, the women convince Judith to stop Jake's visits with his…Episode details → ▶S1 E24 Can You Feel My Finger?May 24, 2004 · 21 minCharlie has a pregnancy scare involving one of his one-night stands and decides to go for the big "V," and we're not talking Vegas.Episode details →